Father/Son Hike 2008

Over the last few years, this has been our trail of attempt. The first year we couldn't get reservations. One year it was closed because of bear activity. One year it was closed because of snow. One year it was closed due to lack of water. This year we made it happen. We hiked the Appalachian Trail from Davenport Gap to Newfound Gap. Hiking 32.8 miles over three days. I know that most people would hike the other direction going down hill, but I have a story to go along with that as well.

Planning for this trip started a few weeks in advance with food, stoves, water filters, and shelter reservations. The week before the hike, with all of the above handled, I get a call from Dad asking what day I was to arrive. Well, I picked my vacation day last December and everyone was sent the dates. I was working Saturday and would be arriving Sunday with the hike being Monday through Wednesday. So much for the shelter reservations, Dad called to reschedule the reservations and couldn’t get them for the days we were hiking. The answer was schedule the hike backwards and we got reservations that way. So what if it meant more uphill, we like challenges.

Well Steve and Kathy arrived on Saturday with Steve thinking that he was hiking on Sunday as well. I got in Sunday afternoon after running fire calls all night and Jim arrived Sunday night or early Monday morning. I was sleeping by then.

After a good breakfast at the ponderosa, we headed to the trailhead around 7:20am and arrived around 9:40. Mom and Kathy were heading out to hurt some stores in North Carolina so they dropped the van off at Newfound Gap. Due to parking hazards at Davenport Gap, we parked and hiked up Chestnut Branch trail to the AT. If anyone has hiked this way, and we have talked to a few, it is very challenging. We hiked up to the Mount Cammerer watchtower and ate lunch there while we enjoyed the scenery. This is a very popular day hike destination by the way of Low Gap trail and we saw many people at the tower.

After lunch we hiked on to the Cosby Knob shelter for the night. On this section we saw a Black racer about three feet long. Dad about stepped on it and I brought this to his attention. We got to the shelter around 4:30pm. This is where we met Kaitlyn. She is a young lady new to the area and working at the Knoxville school for the death. She is a Yankee from Massachusetts, but we didn’t hold that against her.

After we set up camp we got ready to make dinner. Jim gave us a long lecture about taking the desiccant package out of our meals. It was only fitting that when the dinners were done, Jim was fishing his desiccant out of his dinner. Right after dinner a guy walks into camp without any pack and asks how everyone is doing. Kinda like a Wal-Mart greeter. He had a bag full of chicken and noodles that he offered to us for dinner. There was a trail maintenance group that camped just down the trail from us. They had about ten volunteers that were doing trail work and five that didn’t show. He hung out and visited for quite some time. Finding that Kaitlyn was new to the area, he spent some time trying to recruit her.

After our visitor left, I wanted a fire, so Jim and I had to do some climbing to get it. There was no wood on the ground anywhere. There was a dead tree that someone had sawed off the branches about head high. With a little teamwork, we managed to get enough wood for the night. Jim actually brought his phat wood with him this year, as last time he left it in the van. It worked and he had a fire in the fireplace going in no time. We sat around and had a nice visit with Kaitlyn until it was time to sleep.

We hit the trail around 8:40. Kaitlyn was staying at Pecks Corner with us tonight, but she hit the trail earlier. Shortly after we passed Snake Den Ridge Trail we came across the wreckage of an old Air force F4 fighter. We scared off some deer at the site. It was pretty cool and we got some pictures of the aircraft parts. We stopped at Tricorner Knob shelter for lunch. Kaitlyn was there and had just finished her lunch. She headed out and we took us a break. Good time for a short nap. After lunch, the clouds came in and we lost our scenic sights. It was cool watching the clouds come across the trail. We were hoping it would clear up by morning.

We got to Pecks Corner at 4:30 and found quite a crowd. There was one couple, two men hikers, and another guy hiking alone along with Kaitlyn. It was going to be a cozy night. This was also the first water source that we came across with only a drip going on. It took quite a while for everyone to get his or her water. After dinner, Jim and I again did some searching for firewood. This site had an outdoor pit so Jim made the fire out there. We had a good visit with everyone that night. The highlight was when Kaitlyn checked her map and pointed out to Dad that tomorrow's hike was over ten miles when he had said it was seven. There goes another map reading mishap.

The good thing about shelter life is you never have to get up by yourself. Everyone gets woke up about the same time as the first person gets packing. The sky had cleared up last night and we had a frost on the ground. After breakfast we packed up and hit the trail about 8:50. Kaitlyn joined us today on the hike.

We got some good pictures today. The weather was wonderful and we had a lot of beautiful sites. We took one picture next to a cliff. After the picture was taken, I turned around and my hiking pole missed the trail so we had to do a little touchy retrieving to get it back. Our big stop today was Charlies Bunion, A wonderful rock formation on the top of a mountain. We ended up taking a lot of pictures for other people as well. They climbed out on the bunion and needed some help. Some needed help getting up as well as down. It was steep and the drop was a long way down if you messed up.

After Charlies Bunion, we hiked on to Icewater Spring shelter for lunch. Along with a good spring, this shelter also offers a wonderful view. After lunch we set up our hammocks for Kaitlyn to check out. She had not heard of hammock camping and was interested. The rest of the hike to Newfound Gap was pretty uneventful. We did see a lot of hikers being as Charlies Bunion is a very popular hike. Kaitlyn did drop her hiking pole off the side of the trail once to make me feel better. We got to Newfound Gap around 3:30 and were instant celebrities. Everyone wants to know if we came from Maine and how long we had been on the trail. There were a lot of everyones too as this is a popular stop. You would make around two steps before the next person asked the same questions. We were happy to see the van and once the packs were off, no one asked any more questions.

We had to drive back and pick up my truck at the trailhead. After dropping Kaitlyn off in Maryville with her boyfriend, we headed back to the ponderosa for pizza and beer. When Mom brought up the subject of cutting a tree down in the morning, Jim immediately said that he would have to leave before everyone got up in the morning to head home.

We spent the day cleaning up brush from three trees that Dad had cut down by the pros, and then we cut down an 80 foot oak tree just for practice. During the clean up, Steve pointed out the poison ivy that was all over the area we had worked. Luckily with washing in Lye soap and wiping down with alcohol, I didn’t have any breakouts.

Pictures

Ace Gap Hike

I drove over to Maryville after getting off of shift. As soon as I got there, it was obvious that the Cicada were here. We ate lunch at the ponderosa and headed to the trail.

Mom dropped us off after prepositioning the van. We got on the trail about 2:00pm. Dad must have felt sorry for me this time because he didn't try to kill me. The trails were relatively easy and we spent a bit of time just enjoying the different flowers and plant life that were out at this time of year. We have had a wonderful year for flowers and you see them everywhere.

We hiked Ace Gap trail to Beard Cane trail and stopped at campsite #3. We got in around 6.1 miles. Campsite #3 is a beautiful campsite along the river. It was a quite night with lighting bugs putting on a show. The campers before us had built quite a chimney for a camp ring. We had to adjust it a little just to keep a fire going that you could see above the ring. We ended up lowering it just to keep a fire going with the usual damp wood of the Smokey's.

We got on the trail around 9:00am the next morning following Beard Cane trail to Hatcher Mountain. This was a mild 700 ft climb. The weather and scenery were both really nice. We hiked through an area that they had done a controlled burn. This is where we caught site of the rare "Killer Tree". Had to take a picture of that. From Hatcher Mountain we took Little Bottoms trail to Abrams creek for lunch. After lunch Dad was a little rough on me as we climbed up and down 250 ft on Little Bottoms to Cooper Road trail. Yes Steve, the knats were still there from our last hike. We finished at Abrams Creek campground about 11 miles for today.

Mom had already hit the strawberry fields and I was forced to take home a couple of boxes of fresh berries.

Pictures

Craig's Fishing Story

This is the story of two Tennessee fishermen. The names have been changed to protect the actual rednecks.

One wintery morning with the temperature around 28 degrees, "Joe" called and said that the fish were sure to be biting this morning and he knew where they could be caught. Being a fair weather fisherman "Bob" did some questioning, but finally agreed to meet Joe. The two rednecks went and picked up a flat bottom boat from Joe's father-in-law. The two stopped by Hookers, the local bait shop, and picked up minnows and many smart ass remarks from other fishermen. Off to the river they went with snow coming down. When they got to the river, which was extremely swollen because of all the rain we have had this Winter, the two fishermen had to carry the boat through the woods to a launching spot. As they look across the extremely fast moving river, Joe showed Bob a tree out in the center that was the goal to tie off to. Bob, looking at the two paddles and the current, wasn't as confident as Joe was. After questioning Joe one more time, the two pushed off and the paddling began. After an extreme battle the two fishermen made it to the tree and tied off. Let the fishing begin.

In two hours the fishermen went through the six dozen minnows and had twenty eight keepers. The Crappie were biting like never before. They had already caught over 100 of them. Well it was time for more minnows. After a very furious battle they made it back to shore about 100 yards down stream, but they made it. You should have seen the faces on these two proud fishermen as they walked back into Hookers with the stringer of fish. There was much bragging to do over lunch. The fish were biting so, with a few more dozen minnows, off to the river they went.

The snow had turned to sleet, but the action would keep them warm. The battle was a little harder this time, but the two made it to the tree and tied off. As planned the fish began to bite. Joe went to measure his fish when he realized that the measuring tool was left in the truck. Joe and Bob looked at each other. They looked at each other hard. I'll tell you right now that Bob can come up with two thousand other ways to measure fish. Joe was nervous about game wardens and insisted that they go back for the measurer.

After one hell of a battle, Joe won and the paddling began. They were making extremely fast time across the river this time. There was a bush that they were well downstream of last time, but this time they were already a good way across the river and after a quick thought they went for it. The current, I must remind you, is like that you see on movies where people drown. Surely the two fishermen could make it in front of this bush and to the shore a few yards beyond at just about the same location that they had launched out at--Surely wasn't in the boat. As the boat slammed into the bush Joe was most certain that life as he knew it was over. You see there is a few twists to this story. Joe cannot swim. Bob would have to hold up Joe and swim across the river. Bob could see the head lines now: "Two firefighters drown in river." Well much to Bob's surprise the boat did not flip. As he did a heavy exhale he noticed a minor problem. The water was coming over the top of the boat. In a matter of seconds Bob knew he had a problem. Most of you have probably seen the movie Titanic. Yes, the boat was going down. Bob just stood there. It wasn't because the captain was suppose to go down with the ship. It was because Bob was in shock! Headlines were reading: "Boat sunk in river, two firefighters drown." Just as Bob was to have his heart attack, something happened. Something very important happened. Bob felt the bottom of the boat hit the bottom of the river. The water had just gotten to his chest. Yes, dear lord, I will be in church this Sunday. Bob turned and looked at Joe. He remembered the last thing he told Joe just before they hit the bush, "Paddle Joe, Paddle!" Joe was still paddling. You have to give it to Joe. He never gave up. I had to tell him to quit paddling and get out of the boat. The water was up to our chest and he was still paddling. We grabbed the boat and pulled it to shore.

We only lost our drinks and about half the minnows. The other half were still swimming in the bottom of the boat filled with water. The fishing poles had fallen out, but were recovered. Too bad for the headlines--the old cell phone in the leg pocket of my pants was the only fatality. We fished out the minnows and put them back in the bucket. Since we weren't cold, Joe made the suggestion that we go back and catch some more fish. When I finally got off the ground after the laughing fit, he actually talked me into it. After a safe trip we ended up catching over 200 Crappie and bring home 30 of them. Needless to say the fishing story is still being told at Hookers.

Hope you enjoyed this little tale. You would have to be crazy to try anything like this.

Take care,

Craig and Hunter

Granny's 90th Birthday Party

Granny's 90th Birthday Party, Elk Lake, Saturday, August 4, 2007
We celebrated Granny's 90th birthday this year at the annual Elk Lake gathering. It served as the focus for a family reunion, the likes of which we haven't seen for many years. Family members and friends gathered from around the country to celebrate and renew acquaintances.

Miss Bay City hams it up at 90

Craig's memories
We are definitely blessed with a wonderful family. We don't all get together very often, but when we do there is guaranteed to be a great time for all. We used Granny's 90th birthday as an excuse this time. The Cabin was the location, which is by far the best resort in the world. Just counting family we had over 40 in attendance (and there were a lot of friends, in addition). As you can tell by the pictures we had lots of food, lots of games, and lots of adventures. The family started arriving on Thursday and most were gone by Monday. Saturday was the big party followed by a canoe trip on Sunday. We filled 20 canoes going down the river. There were many memories made and stories will be told for many years. Here are just some of the highlights:

•Tent city: There were at least five tents pitched across the cabin grounds, two motor homes and a booked motel.
•Dad and Mom with their garbage can dinner: You put everything in a new garbage can and bring it to a boil over the camp fire. The catch was that Dad has a tradition of his own and has thrown many a meal, only on special occasions, on the ground. Yes, he was successful again.
•The crew went missing: After some time Ardith said that Pat had been gone quite a while in their jetboat. She asked Dad and I to go find them. As we paddled out in the canoe and went around the far end of the lake, we found a couple of guys just floating around in their dead boat. Dad and I towed them back to the dock.
•Dad came down to the campfire at some early hour of the morning to tell us to turn down the radio (AGAIN). I have never seen a group of adults (maybe very drunk) all gathered in a group and whispering quite so loudly, “SHHHHH, MAYBE HE WON'T SEE US.” It was amazing to see Charlie come from a tent, dive through the air, and hit the off button in under 10 seconds. The funniest thing was a little while later when Uncle Greg snuck up to the camper and came down with a flashlight pretending to be Dad. People went diving everywhere, even trying to hide behind the folding chairs. I had one Uncle that was relieving himself by the flagpole that ran off into the woods, never stopping the stream. That was funny. Dad used the old red horn to wake up the drunks the next morning. Weren't they looking good first thing in the morning?
•Mike passed out at the campfire: He said that he had wanted to stay down there after everyone went up. He found himself still sitting all by himself the next morning. He was a little bit on the cold side.
•Uncle Rick and I got frisked at Wal-Mart: I guess that they are not used to people pushing out two carts of beer. It was enough for one night.
•Dad and Mom flipped their canoe with Granny in it. Granny ended up staying in the canoe, just getting her hair wet. Talk about a grip!
•The boiling of corn is a tradition passed down from the Brewer side. The popping of corn (in the same giant kettle) was a bit exciting for even the adults.
•Marjorie was in all of her glory “the morning after” floating in the canoe. When we passed by her she had her head down on the bow waiting for the river to quit spinning.
•Dancing on the porch: Dad was in lead taking everyone around the tables. Granny was dressed in her beauty queen outfit.
•Blowing up cans of corn in the campfire: A new sporting event.
•Five generations from Granny, Mom, Missy, Chloe, and me.
•The beanbag toss that every now and then the children were allowed to play.
•Looking: Looking for the dog, looking for the camera, and looking for granny.
Definitely a good time!

Tennessee Anaconda

Yes, it was another day in the life of Craig and Connie. Shortly after I left home to help a firefighter with his hardwood floor, I got a call from Connie. She said that I was to return home immediately, that there was a snake in the house. So after the guys made fun of the call, I headed home. When I got home it was quite obvious that Connie was shaken up. She said that it was laying behind the couch at first and she thought that I had put it there as a joke. Then it moved. It went into the bedroom and into the closet. So I picture the walk-in closet with a thousand shoes and miscellaneous items. Trying to find a snake in there was going to take a while. When I opened the door things changed! The "snake" threw one of my shot guns to me because he wanted to give me a fair fight. The first thought could be wrapped up with "SH**"! I got a flashlight to size things up while Connie retrieved the grill tongs as my first reality weapon after I ruled out the shot gun due to the mess and damage to the house. It had a narrow head, so my first thought was "not poisonous". The head and tail were on the floor behind one of my gun cases. I noticed that the body went over the top of the gun case. You see the gun was standing on end. The diameter of the body at the top of the gun case was roughly one and a half inches. I took the tongs and began a slow but calculated move towards the head. A loud rattle was then heard. My heart, which now had met the stain in the underwear, had quit working. The hair on my back and up to my head stood up. "Rattler" was the new incoming message to the brain. Time to regroup....

Connie began to look up "HELP" in the phone book. After a deep thought and a call to my buddy, Hunter, I realized that this could not be a rattlesnake and that what ever kind of snake it was, it's tail was wiggling and hitting the gun case and wall. Bigger weapons were needed. While trying to keep my voice from breaking, I calmly asked Connie to go out to the shed and get a clawed hoe. Bless her heart. You see Connie's biggest fear is the wasp. There are wasps in the shed. She brought in about every tool in the shed except the one I asked for. I could have planted a garden. Finally she retrieved what I had asked for. While she was cleaning out the shed, I had managed to grab the snake by the head about three times. Each time it pulled free. When Connie returned, she asked if she could hold the light for me. She was shaking so bad that she could have threaded a sewing machine while it was running. I didn't figure that would be much help. Besides, I wanted a witness that could tell the story if things went wrong. I struck, the snake struck, I struck, the snake struck. I realized that he was better at this than I was. You might think that I am crazy, but I believe this snake had watched a TV show about rattlesnakes. I managed to pin his body about three inches down from the head with the hoe. Connie then grabbed the gun case and I put the tong on his head. Between the two of us we managed to get the snake out of the house and onto the front porch. Connie held the snake down with the hoe while a got the shovel and cut the life out of the monster. We did find that it had the neighbors Pit Bull in his stomach. The actual length after the calm had began to settle was five feet.

I took him over to the firefighters house and showed the boys. As I dragged him in, one of the guys dove for the door. The others were in quite a bit of shock. They decided that Connie had actually been pretty calm when she called.

How did it get in? I really feel that it could have opened the door and walked in. If it could have talked, it would have told us to get out. The only other thing was that I changed out the seal on the front screen door before I left. I took the seal off which left about a one inch gap, took the seal into the garage and changed out the rubber strips, then took it back in and put it on. It must have been watching me work. So if you have any doubts, I can tell you that there are Anaconda's in Tennessee.

Love,

Craig and Connie

Father/Son Trip 2006

Great Smoky Mountain National Park, October 22-24, 2006
The Route
Day one: Big Creek Campground to campsite #37 at Walnut Bottoms (5.3 miles). The hike follows Big Creek, with a nice little waterfall, Mouse Creek Falls, at mile 2.0.

Day two: Cosby Knob loop (10.1 miles). Big Creek Trail to Camel Gap Trail to the Appalachian Trail, then back down Low Gap Trail to campsite #37. Cosby Knob shelter provides a nice water and bathroom break.

Day three: Campsite #37 to Big Creek Campground via Swallow Fork Trail, Mount Sterling Ridge Trail and Baxter Creek Trail (12.1 miles). Wonderful views from the Mt. Sterling fire tower.

The Story
The planning for this year's Father-Son outing became almost comical, as bear problems in the Smokys caused one after another of our intended routes to be scrubbed. The inital route, planned casually over drinks on the picnic table at Granny's cottage seemed to offer the best of everything: streams, waterfalls, views, a good camp site, and a circular route. Then, sometime in late summer, the camp site was closed. After a hasty telephone conversation with Dad, he proposed an alternative route. That, too, got canceled as bear activity forced the closing of those camp sites. Craig proposed an alternate route from last year, taking us along the Appalachian trail and staying in shelters (clearly he didn't care about lack of sleep). Pretty soon, up came the bear warnings for those sites, but at least no closures. At the last moment, the original plan's sites opened up. As we would discover, it was a good thing we chose the more sheltered route.

Dad:
This year we started by setting the mood with an invasion of Rick and Linda’s house to party and watch UT and Notre Dame both come out victorious. Sure is great having them in town these days. After the fun, we came back to the house to get the packs and the food ready for the big adventure. There was a careful weighing of the packs this year to make sure Jim Moyar didn’t win the prize for the most excess baggage again. This time they all weighed in at slightly over 30 pounds. Little did we know at the time, we would need everything in them to keep warm on the trail.

The next day the girls did their usual wonderful job of filling our tummies and fixing our first day's lunch before we hit the road to the far eastern side of the park and the trail head. Although it isn’t that many miles, it took us 2 1/2 hours to manipulate the curves and finally find the dirt one-lane road that came to Big Creek Campground. While everyone unloaded and made the last trip to a real bathroom, I realized that the place to register for our hike was back at the Ranger's Quarters we passed on the way in. With a short trip back, I made us legal and we hoisted our packs and finally got started.

Craig:
The weather was warm and, although some rain was called for, the optimistic amigos headed out. We found a little waterfall on the way, where we decided to take our lunch break. As usual when you find a nice quiet spot, this was our first encounter with the red necks. We had the professional photographer that took her pictures holding her tripod off the side of the camera as a handle. We had the professional hiker that was combing his hair and eating tuna out of the can--BEAR BAIT! We were glad that he wasn't eating tuna at the campsite that we were going to stay at.

We had an uneventful trip to our campsite, where we found the usual sign posted warning about bear activity in this area--we have become accustomed to this over the years. After settling on the campsite we began to set up the hammocks. Jim had a new hammock set-up this year (Eagle's Nest) and we all had to check it out. After the camp was set up we began to gather the damp wood for the campfire. During this activity I came across our first live wildlife sighting. As I was dragging a rather large branch across the creek, I laid gracefully down in the creek and found myself eye to eye with a small brown snake about three foot long. He had the same thought that I had: "What are you doing here?" Thinking that he probably had more of a right to be here, and given the painful way I was laying, I decided to get up and continue my fire wood drag.

We pumped our water and as dinner was getting ready, Jim (the official Boy Scout) handled the fire starting. Let me set the scene for you: we had damp wood and some damp leaves to start the damp wood with. The official Boy Scout had spent quite some time prepping some fancy dry wood (he called it "fat wood") for a fire starter. Had he not left it in the van, it would have come in really handy right about now. After sending smoke signals to all of the critters in the mountains, we actually came up with a flame. Are you familiar with cold fire? It is a flame that you can see, but not really feel any heat from. That pretty much sets up the scene for the next night as well.

At about nine o'clock we headed for the hammocks. Some time that night I woke to sound of sleet hitting the tarp. I thought, "Darn." Then I thought about the firewood. Tomorrow's campfire didn't seem to have much hope. I dozed off again and was glad to hear that the sleet had stopped. I got up to use the bathroom. The reason that I could no longer hear the sleet was because it was snowing! I could just picture getting up in the morning to a couple of feet of snow. I had just been saying that I had never slept inside my sleeping bag because it was too hot. I slept inside my sleeping bag! Luckily we woke up to just flurries. Steve broke out the old thermometer, and it had gotten down to 30 degrees. We sent out smoke signals. Dad said that there was a bear in camp that night. We also found that a mouse had found that the bear bag we hung up was not sealed all the way. This was not Steve's fault! He enjoyed the trail mix, and we found that he recycled it quite quickly all over the inside of the bag.

Dad:
The next day we started off with some more hyperventilation exercises to get the fire going after a little snow and sleet overnight. Then a warm breakfast and it was time to hit the trail. We did a 4.5 mile climb to the AT and then a little more climb on that trail and then came all the way back down in 2.5 miles for a good knee check. Both Steve and Jim reported no knee problems, so we were in good shape. I should modify that by saying having not hiked since July, I was not in good shape. I sounded like the "little engine that could", trying to go uphill. That evening was much like the previous one. We had a good warm meal and then huddled around a not quite sufficient fire waiting for bedtime. My only excitement that night was a loud and rapid flap, flap, flap noise coming from under my hammock shortly after I had fallen asleep. After the noise stopped and the "what the hell was that" thought got out of my sleepy head, I realized that I had lowered my tarp all the way down to the ground to keep the wind from blowing under my hammock and evidently a bat had chased a bug in the end and got trapped under there. Steve reported that the bear was back again and he thought it was three times, but it turned out the third time was Jim, who got a little disorientated getting up to relieve himself and wandered around the campsite trying to get back to bed. We all went to bed a little better prepared that night, so kept warm all night.

The next day we found the seal on the bear bag was still intact so no clean up to do. Thank goodness as it was only 25 out and trying to do anything without gloves was short lived at best. It was my turn to huff and puff that morning, as I was the first up. There was just enough of an ember left to coax some leaves to start, and I had a flame going by the time everyone else came out. After breakfast we pack up all our stuff and hit the trail again. There was some talk about whether we really wanted to climb 3000 feet just so we could come down 4400 feet on the other side or go out the way we came in. Never ones to pass up a challenge, we headed up hill. Part way up I was beginning to think that was a really dumb decision, but determination took over and on we climbed.

Craig:
Today the high got up to 25 degrees. We got pictures of the icecicles hanging off the trees lying across the river. I think I can, I think I can...all the way to the top. Lunch was very hard on the hands. Trying to eat with gloves on was a mess and with the gloves off, the wind bit your skin. At the top we were rewarded with a view from a fire tower. The actual building on the top was frozen over so you couldn't see out the windows, but at the top of the stairs you could see for miles. There were some day hikers up at the tower that were freezing, because they didn't think that it would be that cold on the top of a mountain in October.

On the way down the mountain I was just complimenting Dad on his fast controlled pace down the steep slope when he did the expected and took a dive. His sleeping pad went shooting out the side of his pack. I knew that he wouldn't let me down. Steve made it clear that I had let him down. He had his camera ready at all times for my fall and I never took it.

For some reason, maybe the many miles, we got out of the woods a little late. The Women folk did not let us down. Pizza and beer were waiting. Make sure that you don't mention to Granny about the whipping that Steve and I put on her and Dad the next night playing Schmear. The following evening, we got to enjoy a hayride that Mom and Dad put on for us at Cades cove. I was telling Steve that the deer in the cove are so use to people that I could probably walk up to one and just start gutting him with a knife. Wouldn't Dad be proud to come back to the van and see a deer strapped to the top? Well, we had a great trip and all had a good time. We will consider this a successful trip.

Father/Son Trip 2005

Well, where to begin...the explanation of my family, the explanation of the trip, or a mixture of both? I guess that we will start out with this being the first year we wore out one hiker before we started. Jim Moyar could not make the trip this year because his knees let him down. He missed quite an adventure this year, and after the story he will surely be starting his workout for next year's hike.

I guess we will start with the safe arrival of all those involved to the McBride Resort. The discussion this year was a backup plan—we never had one of these before, and I guess as the story goes on you will see why. The original hike was for the Appalachian Trail across the mountaintops, and the backup plan was the “Lakeshore Trail” around the lake. Upon arrival, I found that the Appalachian Trail was booked solid at the shelters (no camping outside of shelters on that trail), and they had a few inches of snow up there. So in came the backup plan. You will find out that not much effort was put into the backup plan. The plan was simple, a boat was going to take us to the far end of Fontana Lake and drop us off. We are going to hike along the side of the lake back to the dam where we started. My first question was about the boat. I was told that no, they didn’t want our names, they didn’t want a contact number, basically all they wanted to know was how many and said to show up between 8:00am and 8:30am. So what is your definition of boat? One thinks about the Elk Lake canoe with bailing can, a Viking ship including paddles and whips, a party boat, or a yacht with full wet bar—wait until tomorrow. We went to the camping store to pick up a few last minute items. On the bulletin board they listed all the camps that were closed due to bear activity. Oh yea, this one is easy—one of our camps was closed.

I started out with a wake up from Deanna. For some reason she felt that I needed to be woke up before Dan and everyone else. It was kinda nice to watch everyone else wake up...I guess. The ladies put on a wonderful breakfast and, with smiles, at 6:30am sent us out the door. You know that they were up to something. As we get underway (Steve being the sucker in the front of the van this year), Dad gave us a warm up in the fog with a trip up the mountain. Steve wanted to make sure that Dad’s cataract didn’t match up with the hole in the frost on the windshield that Dad was looking through. We had the usual face impressions on the side windows of the van and some mild tugging on the seats with our ***. Dad started to tell us about the Dragon Tail. For those of you that never heard about it, it is a highway through the mountain that has 350 curves within an 11-mile track. Yes, that just happened to be between the lake and us. That fancy coffee that everyone talks about has NOTHING on Dad. By 8:00am three shaking individuals and one man chuckling arrived at the marina.

The lake has been drained 35 feet low for the winter. We go into the office to see an older man with a bushy beard and a knitted cap on his head that came to a point over each ear with a string dangling down. When we told him where we were to be dropped off, he laughed and said that we were going to freeze to death. You know how it feels to be the object of a joke—he told everyone that came into the office where we were going, so that they too could make a comment about freezing and that we were fools. After a few customers came in, including four Mexicans who also laughed at us, we stepped out onto the dock to pick out the boat that we wanted. There were flat bottom boats, pontoon boats, bass boats, and ski boats. The fog was hanging in and the wind was blowing a cold chill down our backs. We noticed that many boats had caps on them to protect us from the cold...not ours! A speedboat was pulled up and fueled up for us, like we were interested in water skiing. After emptying our packs of clothes, we put them in the front of the boat. We looked like Eskimos climbing in the boat. Dan doing his safety check pointed out to me that there were no life jackets in the boat. When the bushy-bearded captain climbed in the boat I pointed out that we didn’t have any life jackets. He looked at me with that blank stare for a minute and then asked, “Do you really want one?” I could tell by his voice that there had never been a life jacket in that boat. Also, as he immediately turned and started untying the boat saying that “the water was warmer than the air”, there wouldn’t be any put in the boat today either.

We putted out into the marina in the fog. As soon as we got out into open water, the fog really socked us in. At the same time the captain really socked it to the throttle and we were screaming across the lake in zero visibility. The Captain stood up a few different times, pretending that it would help him see. The wind caught Dad’s pack and almost blew it out of the boat. Everyone panicked, except the captain who acted like nothing was going on. Luckily it stayed in the boat. Every now and then you could catch a glimpse of the mountains on either side of the lake. During one of these sightings I noticed that there was a sign with a large number on it at a finger in the lake. Quite a while later, I saw another one and pointed it out to Dan. The Captain looked over at it too and immediately started turning the boat around. “Oops, we almost missed our turn.” As he pulled down the finger of the lake we noticed that there were other boats out on the lake. Some bear hunters and fishermen. It kinda made us feel lucky that we didn't hit another boat. As we were idling to a finish of our boat trip I, being impressed at his confidence, asked the Captain how long he had been working at the lake. He informed me, “Two weeks!” After seeing the lack of humor in my facial expression, he informed me that he had been there three years. He did say that not many people went this far down the lake. He pulled up to the shore, still thirty-five feet down from the woods, and pointed to the end of the finger. I asked how he knew the trail was down there, and he quickly pointed out that he had already been paid and would be out of sight before we got there. It took us a good five feet from the boat before seeing our first bear tracks. They headed to the trail as well.

The trail started off as a road and a sign was not far ahead with a nice bridge crossing the river. I pointed out that none of the trails on the sign was the one we were supposed to be on. Our guide pressed on with courage. A while later we came to another trail intersection with a sign missing our trail name. The guide then confidently removed the map from his pack and after many minutes of “Hummmmm” stated that we were on the wrong trail. We had taken the wrong turn when we got out of the boat. So back to the beginning we went. Nice warm up. Surprisingly, our trail went straight up the side of the mountain. This would end up being the last time we saw the lake on Lakeshore trail. You know that old saying “Does a bear sh*t in the woods?” Well, no they don’t—they sh*t on the trail. This hike had more bear sign than any of us had ever seen. There was no surprise when we saw the first one. A bear about thirty yards above us, headed over the top of the mountain. Dan and I were the only ones to see that one. We did think about our old buddy, Jim, and his bear bell from last year.

That night while we were sitting around the campfire, the topic about how many miles we might have to hike tomorrow came up. Certainly this should have come up in the planning stage of the trip! I believe this would be the third sign that the backup trail wasn’t properly planned. As the manly talk continued, the cracking of branches came to everyone’s ears. It was almost like a pattern going around our camp. Have you ever seen a lighthouse out of control? You should have seen the flashlights going in every direction. Never did catch him in the light. We didn’t have any other visitors in camp that night (that we knew of).

We started the next day going straight up. We did get a glimpse or two of the lake from a distance. I noticed that out in the middle of the lake there were two giant hills. I know that I didn't see them in the fog yesterday morning. I asked everyone else and, surprisingly, nobody else saw these life-taking hills in the fog. Dad had read from the good book last night about the sights that we would see today. Well, we did actually see some of them. The good book didn’t say anything about Gators. Yes, in the middle of the trail we found a Gator. Two rangers had driven it up to do some maintenance on the trail. They looked like; well like, yea, government workers. It was going to take a long time to fix that trail!

The trail had some beautiful sights and by the time we got to the new campsite we were all ready for a break. As dinner was being prepared we had some entertainment by Dan. He had raised his water bottle for a drink. One wouldn't think that he would mess up drinking from a bottle. Soon water was shot all the way across camp. We all looked at Dan, who couldn't see anything with water running down his glasses. We inquired as to what went wrong, and he told us that, as he was taking his drink, he noticed a "Daddy Long Leg" sitting on top of his bottle looking back at him. There's another hour of laughter. We had a campsite solid with trees and no two trees were the right space apart for our hammocks. After we set up it looked like the ghetto, with tarps running into other tarps. We spent all night trying to burn wet wood. Another adventure completed.

Day three: we had our hiking legs. Steve’s knees were hurting, Dan’s feet were hurting, Dad had kicked every rock and stump on the trail (because of the cataract), and away we go. To get things going today I thought I would put on a little entertainment. The shoelace of one of my boots hooked on the hook on the other foot. So, picture one of those Chinese women walking very fast down hill. The first twenty feet I was keeping up with the upper body that was traveling ahead of my feet down the hill. Then the crash…along with the foul language. As I pull my face out of the trail and look around for the helping hand, I notice,as is the usual family tradition, that all I could see was cameras. After everyone got their breath back, they helped me up and we continued along the trail.

We came to the mystery part of our trip. On our map there was an ink line that represented the new or changed route of the trail with a mileage mark put on it. What I later found out, which was on the trail sign, is that our map showed the estimated mileage that Steve came up with. The trail sign showed that he was within a few miles of the actual length. This is when we passed the horse back riders. I asked if they came from the dam and they hesitantly stated that “you could get there that way.” It kinda sounded like "within a few days". This was also the most unmarked part of our trail with many trails running off of ours.

Now for some wildlife, about fifty yards down below us, at first looked like a bear because of the size, turned out to be a wild boar. Running away, it stopped and let us look at it for a second before it disappeared. Around the next mountain we got to watch a black bear digging around for food. He was down below us and either didn’t know we were there or just didn’t care. Many pictures were taken there. Dad, not wanting me to out do him, took his turn. The cataract kicked in and he hit the trail. He tripped over a bolder in the middle of the trail. His military training took over and he did the proper parachute fall, landing on his pack. I did happen to notice that he was immediately helped up. Where were the cameras? Many sights were taken in, from the good book they said that the trail would follow the lake and be gentle... WRONG! We came around a corner and noticed a black bear with two small cubs down below us. We watched for a while and more pictures. After we went around the corner we came to a stream so we stopped for water. As we dropped our packs I notice a black bear with two bigger cubs coming down the trail towards us. Had we not stopped, we would have met them at the top of the mountain, which, I believe, would have been very very bad. You know: the screaming, the sh*t on the trail, the out running of the bear, and the sacrifice of the weakest hiker? Ranger Dad made some noise so that they would know that we were there. They stopped, looked, and then headed back over the mountain.

We continued to fetch our water. Water pump one failed, pump two failed. Luckily Steve had the purifying drops to finish getting our water. Knowing our cross trails, as planned, we came to the first sign showing only 6 miles left. My guide said that was a misprint, “Only about 45 more minutes”. The longest 45 minutes of my life! Remember the trail book: lake front and gentle…still WRONG! No lake, up and down mountains we went. We began checking the batteries of our flashlights, as the sun started setting over the mountain. Finally we saw the lake and the dam. As we walked off the trail we looked at the sign that showed the trail at 6.5 miles. Had we stayed on the path much longer, we would have never got off it, as it would have continued to grow. Quite sore and tired, we made it across the dam to the waiting van. We stopped for a congratulatory ice cream cone.

The dragon's tail on the way home was even more exciting, as Dad had some competition. There was a Toyota pickup that had obviously experienced the drive before and was smoking up the road. Dad was not happy until the truck wore smooth-out from being tailgated finally pulled over and let him pass. I apologized to Dad ahead of time about what I had done to his van seat. I told him that when we stopped, I would spit out the buttons that had previously held the material to the seat. I think he only hesitated twice during the trip when the tires chirped trying to keep the van on the street. We made it home in record time to the hot pizzas that the women had ready for us. Overall we had a wonderful time and a great hike. I'm thinking next year we might cut it back about 10 miles so it will be a three-day hike like we meant it to be this year.

Father/Son Trip 2004

Well, the definition of a successful trip is that everyone made it back safely. We had a successful trip this year with both brother-in-laws braving the McBride adventure. Do they think that the family is worth the pain? We have still not heard from either of them.

Everyone had an uneventful trip to the homestead. There was one individual, who shall remain nameless, that felt that he had to go into work before he left and showed up a bit late—but he did show up. The shakedown went well, except that the nameless one repacked much of what was taken away, only to feel the pain of this miscalculation later on. Hey, I can understand. I've been there, where you see all of your supplies being thrown away while at the same time they talk of the many miles and days that you have to survive out where only the wild animals make it. It will shake you up a bit. I found that it is easier to just not bring anything, and then borrow everything that you need. It makes you look a bit more professional. My weatherproof jacket was still hanging in the closet where I left it when I got home.

The Scotch was drunk over a card game while the conversation traveled to the unmentionable: How did you prep for this trip? It seems that Dan was the most successful in this matter and the sad part was that he only put his pack on twice, once to walk up and down the one hill in the neighborhood and the second to mow the grass. I still picture that one. What would you think if you saw one of your neighbors cutting the grass with a back pack on? Crazy a** ! There was a high five given when Jim admitted that he had not run in quite some time. We thought that he would be the one that would smoke us. So we planned to set out in the morning somewhat even. Even though Dad had been doing the hiking, luckily he didn't do it with a pack on. This would help us later on.

There was some concern voiced about snakes and the possibility of one crawling in the sleeping bag. Steve quickly snuffed that one stating that he had never heard of it happening to anyone before. I was proud of myself for being able to bite my tongue—how many people have heard of being sniffed by a black bear while hanging in a tree. We make stories; we are the ones that other people hear about. Don't worry about the snakes Jim.

The next morning we awoke to a wonderful breakfast prepared by some special women. Those same women put a boot in our butts on the way out the door making some remark about shopping and holding them up. Dad started out the day feeling just a little bit lonely. When he got in the van, he noticed that he was all alone in the front seat. Not sure what happened there. Maybe some stories had gotten out about the flat-landers. After a nice drive...after a drive through the mountains we arrived at the cove. After a stretch-out, bathroom break, and departing pictures we headed out on the trail. Pictures might be mentioned again, as we had three professional photographers with us this year. We were used to the one photographer who usually forgot to take pictures. Now it was like we had paparazzi. I believe I even put my poncho on once cause I thought we had lighting.

The hike up went somewhat uneventful. I did make the mistake of not drinking enough and had the old leg cramp thing kick in. The other mistake was not having water as I was outvoted about going back to the last water source to fill up. They made me feel better by each donating some water to me—like that lasted very long. That would be the last water source passed on this trip. I guarantee that!

Dan mentioned that there was some kind of awful smell on the trail that come along every so often. I thought that funny because every so often I felt a little better. He quit complaining after he got ahead of me.

We did have a wonderful lunch after we got to the top. The sandwich was great, but the brownie was even greater. I suggest the brownie idea again for next year. After lunch we stretched out and took a cat nap. I awoke to the sound of the paparazzi.

The joke about making it to the first camp site was a good one. We laughed about that and did one of those hidden camp sites. Those regular camp sites are flat anyhow. Let's camp on the side of a mountain. From the water source it was one of those rappelling cliffs up to the camp. We tied our hammocks and then hung sideways from them! The briers where a nice touch. We all had scrapes on the ankles from that one. When we put the hammocks up the decision was to made about the tarps. Steve and I were looking at the clouds coming in. No sooner was it said, "the weatherman said no rain" the first drops began to hit us. The timing was great, and the laughs went out. It did stop long enough for dinner and scotch and then began again. We decided that it was time to hit the sack. We staked Jim to the cliff and went to bed (See he was the only one to sleep on the ground). Eight o'clock at night? That was good until like about three. Then we were wide awake with nothing to do. We could snicker a little every time someone went through the briers to pee. I did get jolted awake one time, when my hammock jumped. I was on the immediate defense, when after looking all over camp realized that, no, it wasn't a bear. The hammock rope must have slipped a little. Not the way to wake up in the mountains! Also, on the side of a mountain there is wind. Woke up a couple of times with the tarp flapping like it was going to take off.

Today was the water crossing day. Sixteen water crossings on the trail. It started out with the water crossing us. After we broke camp, we pulled out the poncho. We had two serious rains this day. The clouds blocked some of our views. We have been through worse, and the stories came out about the wet trip two years ago.

When we went down hill, we went down. This was the knee breaker for Jim. I managed to put some blisters on the ends of my toes as I went down one shoe size. At one point, Dad thought that he would just go straight down the mountain, but we later talked him into just taking the trail. You know how rangers are always breaking the rules. Dan tried riding down the trail on his butt, but later decided that it was not the way to go.

The sound of water rushing over the rocks and the snap, snap, snap of the cameras. We didn't have anyone go swimming during the water crossings. Another good day. We camped at a regular camp site tonight. The wood was too wet for the fire, so we sat and talked over Scotch in the dark.

After we had camp set up is when the truth came out: I thought that it was Christmas. Yes, out here in the middle of nowhere I heard the distinct sound of bells. After whipping together a quick list, I turned to see Jim coming back from the using the "bathroom," whistle around the neck and bear bells jingling. No wonder we never did see any wildlife until the end of the trip. Also, I had a distinct memory of the shakedown when the bell was removed. Next flashback was of the first break on the first day. Jim had gone around and lifted up everyone else's pack and made the comment about his being the heaviest pack. Yes, he had repacked his bag after the shakedown.

Remember the story of Steve being sniffed? How he calmly cleared his throat. Sometime in the night Steve cleared his throat, then cleared it again. Well, Dan had heard him and recalled the story. Steve then got up to use the bathroom. Dan didn't know this and assumed that it was the bear. He then did the appropriate move and started clearing his throat. Much laughter the next day.

Also, we have been looking for the eclipse. Steve said that it should be around noon. We found that it was a moon eclipse. We had a full moon the night before and tonight it was full again. It worked well for the first potty break. The second one, I managed to kick both rocks in the camp and after stumbling out of camp, I realized that I could not see anything at all. On the third trip the moon was back on again.

Day three: The supplies were being removed from Jim's pack and passed around. The man was in pain and it showed. We all felt quite bad about his knees. The weather was good, but the trail was bad. Something about the mountains. When you go down, you must go up. This was considered one of the "Navy Seals training trails" in the book. I felt like a seal out of water by the time we got up this one. One water crossing was actually on the trail going up—the waterfall was the trail! You know that any trail that can break two backpacks has got to be bad. Dad and I both had to make repairs. It might have happened while we were climbing over and climbing under the trees that laid across the trail. I am sure that Dad has gone back and removed these trees by now, being the ranger that he is.

We did cross the trail that we traveled two years back and saw the shelter where we spent the night with “Speedy,” if you remember that story. We rested on the top of the mountain and ate lunch. Time to air out the blisters from the day before. Then we headed down to the Cove.

On the way down, after feeling bad about Dan being the only one to fall, I decided to out do him and pulled it off. As I was waiting for my dear brother to reach out and help me up, I noticed that it was the camera that he was reaching for as he said, "don't move.". After the snap shots, Dan helped me back to my feet—thanks Bro. We had passed a few horses and a few hikers along the trail. Now we passed the same hiker twice. The poor guy was lost and finally asked if he was still on the Appalachian Trail. We had gotten off that trail at the top of the mountain—not good for him. To the bottom we went.

It's funny how we mentioned the bad smell in the van after the wet trip two years ago. Dan jumped in the front seat as soon as the van was unlocked. What is up with that? As we pulled through the campground we saw a eight point buck. All of the paparazzi jumped out of the van, and, out of the twenty shots, I think that there is one good picture of the buck. We were soon eating the pizza that we dreamed about for the last day and had a beer or two. Another good trip and some new memories!

Man vs Automatic Toilet

Man walks into airport bathroom and faces the automatic flushing toilet. He pulls the paper toilet lid cover from dispenser and places firmly into place on toilet lid. The automatic toilet flushes and the paper cover disappears down the toilet.

Man pulls a second toilet lid cover from dispenser and places firmly into place on toilet lid from an angle. The automatic toilet flushes and the paper cover disappears down the toilet.

Man pulls a third toilet lid cover from dispenser and holds on bottom as he sits quickly on toilet lid. The automatic toilet flushes, splashes man's bottom, man jumps, and the paper cover disappears down the toilet. Mad man says just forget the cover and takes care of business.

Man grabs toilet paper and leans forward to wipe. The automatic toilet flushes splashing man's bottom, man jumps.

Man grabs toilet paper and lifts ever so slightly to wipe. The automatic toilet flushes splashing man's bottom, man jumps.

Man sits for some time thinking then comes up with plan. Man leans forward and unlocks door. Man gets ready and jumps toward door. Man finds out door opens inward as he smashes face against door and falls on knees. Automatic toilet flushes and sprays water down mans back.

Automatic toilet wins.

Tennessee Christmas 2003

We had ANOTHER TENDER TENNESSEE CHRISTMAS
Christmas day was a very special family gathering. We gathered together at Mom and Dad's in the Great Smoky Mountains. Granny, Lynelle and Jim and the boys, Steve and Kathy, Mom and Dad, Connie, Melissa, and I were all gathered around the chimney with care...I guess. The Kathy Grinch was especially dressed up this year and slid around delivering gifts to all. There was plenty to eat and many laughs of joy as the family got caught up with stories of the past. We all got a shock when the "Hooter Girl" showed up! I guess that Mom had been given a Hooter girl outfit from Steve and Kathy during a previous visit and so we got the "pleasure" (or something) of seeing her showing it off. I believe it was mostly laughs. It was a very Merry Christmas.

Today is the lumber jack day. The MEN were going to clean up the storm damage and fell a few trees while the woman folk went to spend money...I mean to do some shopping. I guess there must have been about fifty cord of wood that had fallen on the side and behind the house from the last serious wind storm. The trees had broken out a bedroom window, tore up some siding, and put a hole in the roof.

Well, with a couple of chain saws and the six men, we went to picking up. We were throwing the wood back on the neighbor who owned the wood. Dad got a chain saw for Christmas and we put it to the test. By lunch time, the yard was clear and all we had to do is fell the three trees after lunch. We were very proud of our progress. We endangered a few shrubs with rolling logs, but no serious damage. Remember that this is taking place on the side of a mountain.

THE TREE FROM HELL
The first tree to come down would be the one that was already broken at the base and leaning on another dead tree. I guess a definition of a tree is important: Three feet in diameter and somewhere around three hundred feet tall. Basically the clouds would separate as they went around the tops. I have never dropped a tree of this magnitude, but how much difference could there be?

Now remember that we have college trained minds at work here. I'm sure that you have all seen the tree swing drawing by the engineer. After much deliberation, we were ready for the first cut. Important note to all: Safety is the very highest priority in the McBride family. Escape routes were planned for all parties involved. Dad fired up the old Christmas present and we all watched in anticipation. It didn't take long for that first all important move by the massive structure. We now had a very nice looking chain saw stuck in the middle of a very large tree. Not a big problem for problem solvers such as us. The chains and come-a-long came out. It didn't take more that ten different set ups before we realized that we would just have to go ahead and make another cut.

The minds got together and the second cut was planned. I started up the next chain saw and showed dad the proper technique from my days in lumbering. With the panic scream, the mad run of all involved in the up hill direction, we had an action packed few seconds. The result was of course, one broken Christmas present, and a tree in the same position, but five feet shorter.

No problem for problem solvers. Another cut was planned with the notch in a different position as figured with our abacus. A scream, a panic run, and we had a tree in the same position, but ten feet shorter. Out came the chains and come-a-long. Another engineering feat...and we had a broken come-a-long. While the come-a-long was being repaired we went for another cut. Scream, run, shorter tree. How long before it gets dark around these parts? We decided to upright the tree with the now repaired come-a-long. We got it lifted up with only two little branches holding on to the other tree. That was it. Now what? So we let the tree back down when we heard the cracking noise. There was the scream, the run, and branches everywhere. It took down three other trees that we didn't have to drop, but luckily the body count came up 0. After everything cleared, the tree from hell was now standing fifty yards away. Shorter but proud. To hell with it.

Now onto the "easy" trees. The next tree was the largest of the trees. We decided where we wanted it to fall and made the notch over half way through. Look at the safety clause one more time. Steve stood up hill in the warning position. Dad stood at the end of my escape route just in the case that we would actually have to use this route and I were to fall, he would pick me up. Jim was sizing up from a third position. A confident hush fell over the crowd as the man started up the saw. As the cut was progressing, with all of my experience in cutting, I was thinking that the tree should be moving by now. My eyes were focused on Steve to let me know what he was seeing. I looked at my saw and could have sworn that I saw my cut get smaller. I pulled out the saw and looked back at Steve. He had the look of shear terror in his eye and was making that motion for "Exit stage left." I looked down and noticed that my feet had "left the area". I tried like hell to catch up with them. I'm not sure if Dad figured out what was going on, but by the look on his face I could tell that he felt that he was about to get run over and took off. Dad had a twenty foot start on me and I noticed that as I passed him that he was starting to roll down the hill. I looked back to see the tree falling right down the exit path and I knew that Dad was safe as my feet left from under me and I too rolled down the hill. I never turned the saw off. I figure that some how I had managed to use up all the oxygen around it and it choked off during the "run" portion of the trip. I covered up my head as the tree exploded around us. I didn't hear the window breaking or the water pitcher exploding. The yard looked just as it did this morning before we started. Wood everywhere. Body count 0.

So far everything was going as planned and we only had the one tree left that was the closest to the house. We tried to pass that off to the women as they came back. Everyone took cover as the final tree was attempted. Chains, come-a-long, escape paths, proper cuts, and the tree fell like we had experience. It only took five hours to cut those three trees down. Not bad for lumber jacks. Some Scotch was taken in that night as the stories were told over a good card game.

Day three was spent at Dollywood with some very good rides and shows. It was a very nice Christmas and I am glad that as with every adventure with the McBrides, nobody was injured during this performance. That is not saying that the sore bodies won't take some time to recover. Connie missed out on the adventure part as she had to leave Christmas night to work the next day. Melissa and I left after Dollywood and she snored for me on the way home.